Ok, one last warning. Guy friends this post contains material about a visit to a gynecologist...Don't read it, you wouldn't understand anyway.
So, I had one of the most frustrating experiences at the doctor last week. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I am not a novice to seeing doctors, I have been in a doctor's office at least 12 times in the last year (including going with Rich to his appointments and the girls to their appointments). With that established, I was completely annoyed when I had a scheduled appointment with a gyno to follow up on an abnormal pap and waited an hour past my appointment time in the very-not-crowded waiting room.
I checked in for this scheduled appointment (9:30am) a little early, and received a clipboard for the usual new patient medical history stuff. It took a little while to fill that out, then I waited for there to be no one at the desk to check in to hand it back to the receptionist, who assured me that they would be right out to call me. When I sat down it was 9:45. "No big deal," I thought, a fifteen minute wait is pretty standard. Then I waited, the only magazines on the table are American Baby and Conception, I neither have a tiny baby nor am I trying to conceive, but I read a couple of articles anyway...
I am feeling nervous already for two reasons: 1. I don't particularly feel at ease around doctors especially ones I have not seen before (I have had some bad experiences in the past of not receiving good care and I am always afraid it will happen again); and 2. I am here to investigate a potentially serious health issue. As the clock ticks by, at least five cute pregnant women come in, check in, see the doctor and leave. I have to assume they were seeing another doctor in the practice, otherwise, I am now more angry than before! I see 10:00 come and go. I have run out of articles to read that don't make me more anxious about my medical issues and want to have more babies...
At 10:15, I resolve to go to the desk and ask if I need to reschedule. Suddenly there are three people waiting to check in. I wait for them to get through and now at 10:27, I go to the window, and ask **very annoyed** if I need to reschedule. The receptionist goes to "check" and hurries back to tell me they were "just coming to call me" and had been cleaning the procedure room...I guess that takes an hour...I was pretty hacked at this point, because it seemed awfully convenient that as soon as the receptionist goes back to check, they magically appear to take me back to the room.
So I am extremely annoyed. The nurse says nothing about the wait. The doctor says nothing about the wait. So, I bring it up, that I had waited for an hour past my appointment time. I would have expected to receive some kind of half-hearted apology or excuse, but instead what I got was a laundry list of all the big important things they do in the clinic, and the doctor in particular--delivering babies, surgery even made the list. "In fact," says the new dr. I will never see again, "I have a surgery coming up any time now" while looking at her watch. I told her I understand all of that, and if she had been delivering a baby, I would have understood that too, but I would have liked the option to reschedule. This was followed by another laundry list of importantisms and concluded by the dr. asking if I had time for her to treat me that day or not.
I suddenly fell victim to my inability to think in confrontational situations and said that yes, I had time. So she zooms through my test results--which I hadn't known before this only having been told that I had an abnormal pap, nothing more--"and you had an abnormal pap, so you are here to follow up, and I see you tested positive for HPV..." I am an information kind of girl, I like information, it makes me feel safe. Information like this coming when I am already overloaded emotionally and not expecting it, sends me into an emotional stuffing place I like to call "behind the wall."
Everything she said after that was a blur, think nod and smile. She tells me about going right ahead with a colposcopy, and possible biopsy with the results determining the course of my treatment...So here I am, emotionally stimied, suffering from information overload, and an uncompassionate dr. I went ahead with the colposcopy, she was very clinical and precisely told me step-bystep what she was doing, took two biopsies and was done. I received no aftercare instructions other than that if the bleeding was too heavy that I should call, and they would see what they could do to stop it. Oh, and my test results would come in the next two weeks sometimes.
The only time that I felt my doctor was remotely human was when post-procedure I asked about the nature of HPV and told her I had only had one sexual partner in the last 11 years, and only one other (if you can call it that) in the past. She sighed and said that they didn't know everything about HPV, that it was mysteriously showing up in her elderly patients who had been widowed for 30 years, and one virginal patient who broke down in tears because she had never had any sexual contact whatsoever. I think that was her way of telling me that I don't have to suspect my husband of infidelity, which would never have crossed my mind anyway...
My test results came back CIN-1 which basically means there were some changes in the cells they biopsied and these usually resolve themselves in 3-6 months. So I am not really worried, except that I need to schedule a follow-up pap in 6 months and need to start looking for a different doctor to do the follow-up with.
I feel like my health was not a priority--I had to read online what my test results meant, I had to read online what the aftercare is for cervical biopsy--no sex for a week, nothing in the vagina for a week. I feel like *me* as a person with a life outside of the doctor's office was completely disregarded. I felt brushed aside. I felt forgotton. I felt like the smallest courteous gesture would have been a simple apology for my wasted time, which I gladly would have accepted and moved on. I felt like since I brought up the wait, she did not show compassion at all about my health situation. HPV is serious, I have never had an abnormal pap before, it kind of freaked me out because I know it is a giant risk factor for cervical cancer. When the nurse called to give me my test results, I felt like she just spit them out at me and told me to follow up with a pap in 6 months. The whole experience was infuriating.
What makes it worse is that I know there are good doctors out there. My nuerologist for one, who on the same day I walked away traumatized by the lack of compassion and empathy from the gyno, called herself to tell me she had looked over my latest MRI films and that there were no changes and reassured me she still doesn't think what I have is MS. Or my family doctor, who while working late called last week to let us know that Kathrina's blood and urine tests came back normal and she probably was just having one of her fever episodes out of the blue. Both of these doctors have apologized for our having waited 20 minutes or less for valid reasons. Both have shown compassion and empathy, the willingness to listen and a concern for the person they are treating, not just the pathology.
So, grrr! And there is no one to complain to except the ether, so to anyone who actually read the whole thing, thanks for letting me vent. Don't worry about this aspect of my health, I am not worried. And if you live in the Emporia area and might be seeing a gynocologist and want to avoid this one, come ask me. (I won't libel someone in my blog.)
